I got back to school.

When Toff first saw me, the first thing he asked was, “Do you already have a stand?” I said no, I am still neutral. I am not the kind of person who tells what a person is until he is proven so. I do not want to join the mas trend and hysteria of “ERAP resign”. A lot of people only protest because their friends do and it has become a trend.

Ms. Laforteza at reflection period also asked those who didn’t go to the noise barrage to oust ERAP. I was really frustrated, it was like a prosecution trial. What’s wrong with having your own majority-opposition stand. She even called us hard-hearted people with no feelings, and scared, although not directly at me. Wha?! I am so alone in my stand. Everyone is against your opinion.

Oh well, nevermind. I accept that fact.

We had a mass for Saint Stanislaus Kostka today. As usual, as the vice-president of my class, I stayed at the back of the line. It’s really kinda embarrassing being the smallest person (almost not anymore) and you’re at the back of the line, when the line is from smallest to tallest.

Anyway, when we got to our place, I was the only one without a seat so I just got my own at the reserves of stacks of chairs.

The mass was quiet and boring. I was paying attention but later on, my mind moved on to other stuff, day-dreaming.

After mass, I had to walk alone, I really feel like an outcast. You know, not like all the others, with a companion with them while walking back to the classroom, I have none. I feel that I’m an outcast.

Other subjects just passed on…

During Science time, just a few minutes after we started our discussion, the bell rang for the noise barrage and walk-out protest for President Estrada’s resignation. Everybody started walking out of the classroom into the covered courts. You were given a choice, to stay or not to stay. Teachers were not staying, they really want ERAP out. Almost everyone went to the covered courts to make noise for Erap to step down from the presidency.

I felt so alone, being the only ones, with Jess and Mon left behind since we were either neutral or pro-Erap.

I feel like an outcast. We had to leave the classroom and stay outside because Mr. San Pedro, our prefect said so. He is in charge so he doesn’t want any robbery of some sort happening around since the 1st-year Wing was really deserted. I just had a lousy time talking with Mon and Jess. I feel so alone, especially when they talk about stuff which I can’t join in it because I know nothing about it…

When they came back, I was really stabbed with what they said…

“Yung mga hindi sumama, mga bano, duwag!”

At home I just wanted to pour my emotions out. I just couldn’t in that suffocating atmosphere in school.

Today was a normal Sunday. We went to church. I did not sleep in church this time. I really can’t remember much so I can’t write much since I am writing this long before this day has happened (oops). I just hope there is a way to store all your thoughts when they come to your mind, in your mind computer or something.

We had shrimps again for lunch. This Sunday’s shrimps were small and a bit bland. They’re still shrimps anyway so I still digged in to my fullest.

Well, I’m really lazy to write anything. I just crammed to do my homework.

I brought the video camera to school because IC borrowed it for their Religion project.

For Math, I didn’t observe the silence bell. I was talking with Alejandro because I was asking for some chalk. I didn’t know that our Math teacher was already at the back of the room so I went on. After the silence bell ended, she warned all silence bell disobeyers to go to the APSA after class, telling us ,”You know who you are…” I know it was me. Oh no, a week hasn’t passed after my first offense, a post, and now I’m surely going to get another one. That thought put me so down the whole Math period. I was an active participator in class but now, I just didn’t listen to the review for our long test this coming Monday. Ms. Cornejo didn’t look at me, I guess because she’s angry at me. I felt so bad disobeying the silence bell.

After Math, I went to the APSA, although it seemed I was the only one to do so. Ms. Cornejo even passed by as if she forgot that she told us to go there. When the bell rang for the next period, I made a decision to come back to the classroom. Sir M was already there, and I was hesitant to go in. Could I go or not go in? Andrew, who’s the first person at the door, told me to go ahead in, and I did. Sir M didn’t seem to mind even though I was late. Well, we just had a discussion.

We had the long test in English which wasn’t that hard, although by that time, I already had a headache which bothered me and my concentration. Anyway, at least I made it through. After that, I hurriedly went to the APSA to meet with Ms. Cornejo about that. I waited for lots of minutes and she wasn’t going out. I just found out then that our practice for today was canceled. Oh no, then I thought the bus had left me and I have to commute home. So I just waited for Ms. Cornejo to go out after I’d paged her. Well, she didn’t. John passed by telling me that she was at the library tutoring some kid. Oh that’s why. So I went there. She told me that I will get a jug. Oh well, as my principle goes, “I accept the consequences of my actions.”

I was down… I didn’t bother prepare for the SabPag Finals tomorrow…

Since the Eliminations are over, everything was back to normal. The subjects went on… and on…

Ms. Laforteza congratulated us and she was proud that we made it against all odds, all those frustrating practices…

For Art, we just continued drawing our landscape project. I drew mine which was the view from our window. After drawing most of what I can draw, I went out to just hang out with some of my classmates. It was nice standing at the edge of the hilly ridge and see the beautiful and peaceful view. Our classroom is at the edge of the Loyola Ridge (?). It’s so nice to look at the mountains of Rizal in the horizon and the plain with houses below us. Peace…nature…it’s nice to marvel at the beauty of things around you, even just some times.

We didn’t have practice today, so we can study for our English long test tomorrow. Ah, another normal day. I miss our frustrating practices.