I’m not annoyed with John anymore. I don’t know why. Amen to your thoughts. Pursue your passion to serve our people! I’m very glad you have that same passion I have.

Anyway, I was fixing my room today because I need to free up some space for my new PC. Now, I am convinced that I’m allergic to dust. My whole face is swelling with tiny itchy lumps. These darn itch better go away tomorrow, it’s bothering me a lot.

Last night I was watching The Correspondents at ABS-CBN. It was a documentary revealing the obvious and extremely horrible corruption in the Philippine government. According to the documentary, come to think of it, the Philippines is capable of elevating its state from a third-world country. We do have the money. But 40% of the money of the government is wasted on corruption and inneficiency. The administration openly admits that. It’s the government culture here. Tens of billions of dollars either go to government officials’ pockets; to monstrous projects which aren’t finished and if it does, fails; and the ridiculous trait of many local governments of spending money on things that can be bought with less. Imagine that! It’s very frustrating. The Philippines does not need to be a third-world country. We don’t need to stay “developing” forever. We do not need to let many of our people die of starvation or live in the worst of all poverty! It’d take a miracle to fix up this corrupt system. It’s very frustrating and down-heartening.

We continue to pay for the debts that were accquired due to the ridiculous projects of Marcos and Ramos and many other government officials not only in the national government but in the local ones. We continue to pay millions of dollars for the rotting Bataan Nuclear Power Plant. We continue to pay the debts the government acquired decades ago!

Ok stop. I don’t know why it’s bothering me too much. I couldn’t sleep until 2 AM just thinking about this thing.

My mom has given me the official specs of the computer I am allowed to buy. I am very excited. Tomorrow, I am going to fix my room and remove some things so there will be space for my new system. I’m very, very, excited. I’ve been longing for a new computer for so long, and now, it’s almost fulfilled.

Have you guys seen the McDonald’s commercial here in the Philippines. I know. I just find it cute. Very cute. You know, the Dada commercial. Heheh. Not just the little girl, but the family, and the whole concept is cute. Nakakatuwa ‘di ba? I like it a lot.

I’ve been eating bread with kesong puti every afternoon snack time since this weekend. My mom bought the white cheese from Laguna. It doesn’t taste bad.

We went to Amadeo, Cavite, my dad’s hometown, to spend the time with the clan on today’s town fiesta. Amadeo has been in the news lately. The local government has concocted up a brand new coffee festival they initiated this year which they called Pahimis, to boost the deteriorating coffee industry of the town of Amadeo and of the Philippines. Many clans in the town own coffee and fruit farms. I still remember the huge piles of colorful coffee beans laid on the concrete gound in my gradfather’s backyard to dry until they turn dark under the sun. I used to play in those coffee piles with my brother and my cousin. But that was long ago. It has been a very long time since I had seen those thousands of coffee beans drying under the sun. They don’t seem to produce coffee anymore. Coffee farming used to be a lucrative industry. But coffee prices have dwindled since the 70’s.

So there. We really used to go to Amadeo every year during this time of the year for the annual town fiesta for the patroness, Mary Magdalene. But this year, there’s an additional celebration which is the said coffee festival.

We went to the town’s church after we arrived to have mass. It was crowded so we stayed at the patio or something. Thankfully, though it’s crowded, it wasn’t that humid and hot. Amadeo is a hillside town so the temperature up there is kind of cool.

I guess that’s all. After mass, we went back to the house and there, I just watched TV and played with my niece, Darline, and my two year-old cousin, Raphael. I know it’s weird but I like playing with little kids more than I like playing with my own peers. Or it’s just that I don’t play with my peers at all.

During the afternoon, before I took a siesta, there were some people who knocked on the door. I immediately knew they were the annual beggars. They always say they are from Bulacan or Pampanga or some other far-away province. I don’t get why they travel all the way from their province to this quiet little town of Amadeo just to beg. And they never fail to come to Amadeo and to my grandfather’s house every fiesta and Christmas. They are very suspiscious. They must have their own money. How could they have journeyed all the way here if they didn’t have money! Transportation may even cost more than the money they would be able to acquire from begging.

So there, I took a siesta. Afterwards, I just lazed around in the living room watching TV. Until my dad finally decided we should go home.

“Texas think-tank sees US building forward base here” is a story in today’s issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Hm, like, that wasn’t obvious, wasn’t it? Anybody who’s been closely watching the things happening would always doubt the Americans when they say they are staying here only during the the Balikatan Exercises between Filipino and American troops.

“WASHINGTON may be literally paving the way” for a forward military base in Basilan, a Texas-based think-tank said Friday. Strategic Forecasting Inc. or Stratfor said the reconstruction of roads and air strips in the island-province by US military engineers was a likely signal that the United States was setting up a regional “operations facility” for counter-terrorism.

“Ultimately, US operations in the southern Philippines are directed less at defeating the Abu Sayyaf and more at establishing a forward operation base in Southeast Asia?with an eye on Indonesia as a likely first target,” a Stratfor briefing paper claimed Friday.

The paper, posted on its website and available to some 35,000 subscribers worldwide, said Indonesia was “a very attractive location for (the) al-Qaeda (terrorist network) to regroup.”

Well, the government and the Americans are denying it. Oh well, I still have the doubt. They keep prolonging the scheduled end of the exercises. They keep bringing in more and more troops.

Anyway, with little regards to the afformentioned, there’s another person who’s testifying that the Philippine Army is together with the Abu Sayaff in the kidnapping business. I believe it’s one of the hostages the Abu Sayaff kidnapped from Sipadan, Malaysia. And of course, as usual, the military is denying it. Come on, two priests and a foreign hostage has said it and they still keep denying it to the point of calling them being out of their minds. It’s no wonder the Abu Sayaff, a small group of bandits in a small group of islands, as the military described it, can’t be wiped out after all these years. It’s because the miltary is participating in their business.

I had my first violin lessons today.

I was quite a apprehensive when I was preparing to leave the house. My mom asked their office’s driver to bring me to SM North Edsa, where Yamaha is, where I am taking my lessons. I got there more than half an hour early, and since Yamaha was close to many computer shops, I browsed around. I was not actually interested at buying anything because I was already very expectant of my new custom-assembled computer. But of course, I could barely resist buying books about programming, XML and HTML and all those kinds of stuff. I’m frustrated at how I’m left out with such a futile website. I envy many blogs a lot. They have such spectacular layouts. Bah, I didn’t buy anything!

And so I got back at Yamaha and met my teacher. I actually forgot his name already. At first it was very uncomfortable for me since the lessons were held in an insulated room not bigger than 2 square meters! And in the next room, there was this guy who was having voice lessons and it wasn’t pleasing to hear at all. But who am I to talk like this, my violin music wasn’t at all any more pleasing to hear either! I’m trying… I’ll learn sooner or later. I’m really looking forward to be able to play good music with my violin! The lesson for my first day was basically the basic note reading and where those notes are played in the strings of the violin. And of course, the way to play the violin. It’s a pain in the arm though.

After the one-hour lesson, I planned to roam around the mall’s book stores. But I wasn’t able to. The driver who my mom requested to bring me and from there was already at the counter once I got out. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the favor but next time I’d like to commute. So I can spend my own time.

Watching the primetime news. And as always, the PMAP (People’s Movement Against Poverty) are clamoring in the streets. They’re hypocrites. They’re not doing anything to alleviate poverty. They’re just a concocted group with political sentiments for the deposed president Jospeh Estrada. They’re not actually doing anything to help themselves do they? Look, they have been poor and still are poor and they call themselvees a group that moves against poverty? What are they doing? Protesting support for President Estrada. What has Estrada done to alleviate their state of poverty?

Late last night, I was scanning the TV watching random shows to put me to sleep. I stumbled upon this local late-night talkshow. I saw one of our substitute teachers in Science as the guest. She was talking about her student’s reactions when she showed them (includes us in class) the documentary of how preganant woment labor and deliver babies. I neglected writing about that day but really, it was like the entire class was ready to puke in disgust. Sheesh. Okay fine, it is kind of gross but, why cringe and all. It happens hundreds of thousands of times everyday.

But then again, I’m the kind of person who can eat my dinner in front of people discussing manure, and murdered people. Not actually eat in front of manure and murdered people…now that’ll make me puke. But that thing was just TV!

Tonight, I was watching Colors of War at the Discovery Channel. I love watching war documentaries. I love the war and socio-political drama. I don’t know why but I always feel enraptured when watching political drama among factions. I love it. But I don’t actually like it to happen but it’s just cool.

It reminds me. Remember all that fear I had of China conquering the Philippines? Well, I still belive it would happen sometime in the future but somehow I feel a bit relieved. Many people I talk to here always say that America would back us and defend us from China. Remember how I said that that is utterly impossible because the US would rather remain in good relations with China, an enormous market for American enterprises? Well, since the Americans are here training with our soldiers under a military agreement, and seeing how things are going, I pretty much think that US would now side with us if ever China would go to conflict against us.

I’ll start having my violin lessons tomorrow! I’m not actually excited, but it’d be cool.

I madly want my new computer. I can’t wait to let go of this old computer. I cannot wait any longer. I didn’t mind at all paying half of the 60,000 peso tag price. I had saved a lot on it, and plan to tighten up my belt to catch up with my deficit. And I don’t care. I don’t want anything else but my new computer. I don’t even care if I don’t get a new cell phone to replace my lost one. I don’t care. All I want is my new computer.

You know, I feel left out. In the computer scene that is. I can’t keep up with all the new technologies. I want to learn them. But I don’t want to take up a computer course in college! So I have to learn them by myself hopefully.

I feel left out in my social scene as well. Since it is through my lost cellphone that most of my close friends contact me, I have no connections with them right now. They should get addicted to the internet. But then, they rather continue riding the stupid SMS messaging trend here. Come on! It is very useful, I must admit, but not something to go addicted and crazy about? What’s to go crazy and feel trendy about with stupid short messages in awkward spelling and grammar? Come on!

I also feel left out in my social scene in class. My classmates hang out with each other these summer vacation days. While I’m here, enjoying the summer by myself. I don’t know why. I don’t expect myself to be going with the jocks in class, with the cigarrettes and the ridiculous wide-leg pants and all those stuff. Nor do I blend well with the conyo elitists in class, with their sheltered elitist psyche. Nor do I blend well with the game and anime fanatic people, though most of them are my close friends in class. They’re too fanatic over things I’m not really interested at. Nor do I want to be with the writers, because a couple of quiet writers being quiet isn’t fun. Nor do I want to be with the outcasts because they’re too… far away from everybody else. I don’t seem to want to be with anybody in class.

I do enjoy the company of some of my close friends in class. But… Nah. Never mind.

Been debating again. This time on our class’s email group.

You see, with these American military around here in the country, it has been an issue brought up by some lunatics that the Philippines should concede to America and join the union as a new state. Outrageous idea and it surprises me that though it is such a ridiculous one, numerous people agree with it. For heaven’s sake, are you out of your minds? For one thing it is not possible out of other reasons. NO WAY. Unimaginable. Unthinkable. Hilarious idea. Get real.

Filipinos can be very pessimistic. Why look down on yourselves? Say this country is a shithole with no hope. If you can’t do anything about it, leave or stay and stand it and don’t be such hypocrites as to keep saying you live in a shithole, because that means you’re shit.

And those who try and hope to clean this shithole up, my sentiments are with you. I’ll join your ranks when I come of age. I don’t care if it suffocates us as long as we do something to clean this so called shithole. We can do this. Together.

Sigh. The Americans keep sending troops. Look at that, isn’t it obvious. They say that they are here only to train with the Philippine army. But do you believe them? They are going to stay longer than what has been agreed on. They had already said that they will stay longer to build some roads in Basilan island. And they keep sending more troops. Do you think the excuses will end there? They’re supposed to stay only until July this year, but I doubt that. I know that they, together with our American-puppet government, would come up with excuses to let them stay longer and longer. They already are.