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August 25, 2010

After flu, random thoughts

Last night, I was supposed to get a respite from my usual evening classes in law school. I went home from our House of Representatives office in the middle of the afternoon after going through a check-up at the Congress’ medical facility. I hadn’t been feeling well since I woke up that morning. I remember waking up in the middle of the night with chills. I felt feverish (though the doctor said I didn’t have fever), I had a very bad headache, I was having a bad runny nose, and the beginnings of a bad cough. In other words, I felt like I was coming down with the flu.

I took a nap late in the afternoon, then I woke up early in the night to a morbid spectacle on live TV. The early evening news programs had been extended. The usual soap operas had given way to a hostage drama on simultaneous nationwide broadcast. Apparently, it was also syndicated on major global news networks. Then, unexpected turn of events happened rapidly one after another right before our very eyes. From the dramatic arrest of the hostage-taker’s brother, and his relatives wailing pleas to stop the arrest, to the actual firing of bullets from the bus, and the tenseful reporting made by the TV commentators, to the bloody end of it all.

I couldn’t believe we were seeing it all on TV! Despite the lingering moralist thought that I shouldn’t patronize this blatant sensationalism, and the ugly thought that people were dying at the very instant in the same frames and footage we were witnessing, I couldn’t take my attention off from the intense series of events. Admit it or not, we were all glued to our TV sets. How can we explain ourselves? It felt really wrong, but we couldn’t resist not to miss a second of it. Sure, we find police thrillers and action movies gratifying, but we all enjoy it with the comfort of knowing it is all faux. But last night, it was real.

There’s probably some psychological explanation to it.

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March 15, 2010

A career in law?

A few days ago, I submitted the initial set of requirements for my entry into another law school. It’s been more than half a year since I got dismissed from UP Law. I really don’t want to give law up. I don’t really mind repeating the classes I’ve taken during my freshman year. In fact, I want to take them again in order to refresh myself and relearn the lessons I’ve taken.

Today, as it has always been, I still do not want to become a career lawyer, a lawyer working overtime with law firms in some office, defending random clients. That kind of lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me at all, notwithstanding the benefits or compensation. I want to study the law and be a lawyer so that I can promote and defend what I do as an activist, and do it better, from researching and drafting resolutions and bills in Congress to taking part in campaigns to protect and promote the rights of people. I want to study the law to make sure that the people I work with, the people I serve, and the people I care for and love will not be taken advantage of. Sure, I can read and study law books here and there without having to go through with the formality of attending school and passing the bar, but I have to recognize the fact that the social status of being a lawyer commands respect. It’s a kind of authority to challenge authority.

Yes, I’ve also thought about having to earn a living and provide for my family in the future. But I can set up a small shop take on a few “rakets” anyway. All I need is to support a simple family lifestyle. The idea of using law as a primary source of income is not appealing to me, too.

A few days ago, a group of disgruntled and desperate parents of University of the East students went to the headquarters of Kabataan Partylist. They have been calling our office almost every day the past weeks narrating their despair with regard to their children being maltreated in the school’s apparently abusive CAT training, among many other complaints. They have coursed their concerns to many politicians and government officials but they were not being given the attention they needed. I was talking to them about the kinds of campaigns we can mount in order to put a stop to the abuses, among other things. But then I also realized that it has to be complemented with legal action, of which I couldn’t properly advice them on. These kinds of situations reinforce my desire to study the law.

I apologize for not being able to update my blog the past month. Most of the tasks I have been assigned the past months for Kabataan Partylist is to speak and keep in touch with like-minded politicians and youth candidates from all over the country from different persuasions and political parties, forging formal and tactical alliances with a common agenda of change. One of these days we will launch an alliance of young men and women running for office this elections, united in upholding new politics from the youth for the people.

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September 4, 2009

Random notes 09/04/09

BATASAN STUFF
A couple of nights ago, Rep. Mong Palatino took me to the congressmen’s lounge beside session hall, to sample some of the food. It is exclusive to members of the House but I think they’re allowed to bring one or two of their staff or family once in a while. It was free, limitless, hotel-like food for congressmen every session day. Apparently, Mong said he hasn’t seen any same dish served twice for the entire month. No wonder many of the congressmen get fat in Congress, literally, and figuratively too. That night, it was Chinese-themed food. I don’t think Congress has a concept of simple living, which is a shame in a poor country like the Philippines. Iba talaga when one has the “power of the purse.”

Speaking of Congress’ “power of the purse,” I briefly attended the first hearing of Congress for the government’s P 1.541 trillion budget for next year. The hearing was very well-attended by the congressmen, their staff and employees of the Budget and the Finance departments. I could barely find a comfortable place, not even to sit, but to stand. It’s that packed. Iba talaga pag pera na ang pag-uusapan.

TAMBAY SA OSPITAL
A few days ago, some of my fraternity batchmates and I brought another batchmate of ours to the hospital due to his chronic seizures because of his multiple sclerosis. He had five attacks that day, and the UP Health Service urged us to move him to a bigger health facility because all they could provide were valium shots. It was the first time I saw someone having a serious seizure, and it was quite scary. Since his parents were in the province and his relatives couldn’t come as soon as possible, we stayed at the hospital the rest of the afternoon, some of us till later that evening.

MEETING BOY ABUNDA
In between staying at the hospital, I went to a meeting with some ABS-CBN staff together with Boy Abunda, to talk about his new political talk show. I don’t know why I’m part of it. I got a call a few days earlier inviting me to join in, and well, I agreed. Though I’m having second thoughts now. True, I may be opinionated, I write and I blog, but I don’t do a lot of talking, really. Details to follow, as I don’t think I’m at liberty to disclose any more information about it.

CLEARING OUT OF U.P.
I’m currently processing my papers for my honorable dismissal from UP Law. I passed by Malcolm Hall yesterday, after not being there for weeks now. It didn’t feel nice being in a place you were forced to leave all of a sudden. Unfortunately, I’ll have to keep coming back the next few days to finish the process, get a transcript and other papers to be able to take tests in other law schools.

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September 26, 2008

When studying becomes a fault

It pains me when friends and colleagues take it against me when I am unable to spend time with them or do some tasks because I need to spend time to study.

Perhaps only fellow law students really understand. Nagsasawa na akong magpaliwanag. I’m just starting to sound like I’m making excuses all the time.

All of you want me to become a lawyer but you make me feel bad for trying to get it done. I don’t think many of you understand how terribly demanding law school is. I’m tempted to take a picture of my piles of readings, worth thousands of pages, all of which I had to read and will have to re-read through for the final examinations, just to show you how seriously I mean it when I say I need all the time I can to study. I wouldn’t wish such an ordeal on any of you.

I’m trying my best to juggle and handle everything. ‘Pag kaya ko naman ginagawa ko, ‘pag may oras ako nagpapakita naman ako. But this I’ll admit, I’m really just so compelled to give much more time to studying. If I don’t spend as much time or more, I’m really, really going to fail some of my subjects. And if I fail I will never become the lawyer you want me to be, something I really want for myself, too.

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August 18, 2008

Would you allow me to be selfish now?

“Natutulog ka pa ba?” I forget who asked me the question. I got asked the same thing around three times last week. “Yun nga ‘yung problema eh, natutulog ako.” It’s so sad that I’m blaming sleep for the lack of time I need to do everything I’ve committed myself to do. There just isn’t enough waking hours to do them.

I’ve never felt so depressed over grades. I was never that much of a grade-conscious person. As long as I pass and I know for myself that I’ve learned well, I’m satisfied. Last week I found out what my mid-semester average was. In spite of all the sleepless nights and the effort, it wasn’t enough. I failed big time. The fact that I was second lowest in my block made me feel so much worse. That day I went straight home from class and sulked. The week left me so tired and I am met with a failure.

Inggit na inggit ako sa mga blockmates ko when they study in the library in the afternoons, or when they come to class ready and discuss among each other issues and cases one after another in attempt to review what they’ve read. I wish I had all the time to commit myself to the great demands of law school. When I see my blockmates talk about the lesson, I want to walk out because I barely know anything anymore.

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