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The year 2007

At the beginning of 2007 I had a mental checklist of things that I would do and a checklist of predictions on how my life would turn out for the year.

However, 2007, turned out to be so much different from how I imagined it when it started. So, so much different, I’m telling you. Fate (or destiny?) had something in store for me, and it really caught me unprepared in the beginning.

By the end of January, I suddenly found myself being invited to join a fraternity. You gotta be kidding me, I thought to myself then. List some stereotypes of fratmen and I probably am the anti-thesis to a number of those. But what the hell, weeks later, I eventually became an Upsilonian. It was a life-changing decision and such a difficult process that I’ll never forget nor regret.

So, from the most utterly painful to the most stressful to the most euphoric, ecstatic and fulfilling of experiences of my life this year (and probably of its 19-year entirety to date) belong to this, my junior year in the fraternity. Tangina na lang. Hehe. It’s quite difficult trying to word it out and explain the countless individual experiences adequately without using too many superlatives or revealing things. I guess you just have to take my word for it. If I’m compelled to sum up 2007 in one sentence, I would easily and confidently say, “It was the year I became an Upsilonian.” ‘Yun lang.

(On an interesting note, this blog played a big role in how and why I was recruited into the frat. Oh boy, the things my blog get me into, right? At the beginning of the year, I was hoping it would be TV guestings or something. Hehe, just kidding. Guess the blogger who invited me.)

Anyway, the next big thing for me this year came shortly after I joined. It was late February and early March–campus elections season in the University of the Philippines. It’s not easy explaining to non-UP people how serious elections in this university can get. It’s probably one of the most fiercely contested campus elections in the Philippines, with ideological and historical bitterness in its flavor.

Anyway, I was running for college chairperson under STAND-UP. And it was a challenge because students were bitterly divided on some key issues, there was an apparent strong anti-radical sentiment, and we were being contested full-slate for the first time. As everyone in my college knows, despite my “pre-election popularity,” I was defeated. And honestly, for a while then, I was depressed. But as the adage goes, when one window closes, another one opens. It definitely didn’t end with the loss. I eventually got absorbed into the university-wide committees of STAND-UP and from there I worked with the various social and political campaigns throughout the year.

This year-end recap can’t be complete without mentioning that it was the year I first visited the United States. It was a family vacation. We were there for three weeks. Atlanta, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas. There. I think I’ve chronicled it enough already, so I won’t talk much about this. It wasn’t particularly life-changing, but yea, since it’s a major first, it’s worth the mention in this entry.

I’m sorry, I tried to keep this as short as possible. There were a lot of other things that happened this year, of course. I’m sorry if you’re expecting some things I missed out in this entry. Basta, 2007 will forever be etched in my consciousness for many various reasons. These three simply make the top spots.

Posters of Lloyd of All Trades seem to have been plastered on numerous bulletin boards around UP. And I’ve been getting quite some attention from some people. I wish my BC 130 friends chose a more flattering picture, hehe. Oh well, I don’t think there is much I can expect on how humiliating I look when I’m wearing tight jeans and holding a feather duster and a make-up brush. I’ve also seen the pre-final cut when they asked me for a final dubbing session. As always, I cringe when I see myself on screen, it borders disgust sometimes. It’s like I don’t recognize myself. For what it’s worth, at least the butt exposure part was just less than a second. Whew!

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Sure, it’s flattering that people still come to me for all sorts of favors and rely on me for various things. I do appreciate the trust and the thought that they count on me. But it can take it’s toll sometimes. I don’t like to appear like I’m complaining, but see, this saying yes to people almost all the time, does make me break promises one after another. I just can’t say no and keep a straight face to people. The more I can’t face them and say I’ve failed in my attempt to do so much things at the same time.

Patawad sa lahat ng pagkukulang ko bilang kaibigan, bilang officer sa org, bilang member sa isa pang org, bilang officer sa political party, bilang junior sa frat, bilang anak, bilang kung anupaman ang turing ng ibang tao sa akin. Ang dami ko nang roles na sinusubukang gampanan. Hay, nagpatung-patong na lahat. Sa pagsubok kong tuparin lahat ng pangako ko, minsan talaga nabibitawan ko ang iba. Ni hindi ko na matugunan mga pangako ko sa sarili ko. I’m sorry. But I can do this.

I attended the first Philippine Blog Awards awarding ceremonies last night at the RCBC Plaza in Makati. As a finalist, I am allowed to bring along a guest so I asked Ayeen to come with me, right after our semender ‘picnic’ at the La Mesa Dam ecopark.

It was my first time to attend any bloggers’ event, convention or gathering. I felt quite uneasy at first, especially since everyone else seem to have already acquainted themselves well with each other. It’s quite an insecurity of mine. Unlike many of the notable and well-linked bloggers now, I’m probably one of the few who barely gets to comment on other people’s blogs. And it’s not because I’m a snob, as I’ve heard somewhere, I do lurk around all your blogs, but my lack of online correspondence is really just a function of me being very very preoccupied with various things offline. Hehe.

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What is Halloween?

I didn’t grow up celebrating Halloween. When we were much younger, my brother and I didn’t go trick-or-treating around the subdivision, exactly because there wasn’t any celebration at all. It was only until a few years ago when suddenly the village and my elementary school started organizing halloween parties and trick-or-treating for kids. I still actually don’t see the point. The whole concept still seems alien and foreign to me. It appears to me that it is simply an attempt to copy what Westerners do and an excuse to needlessly spend money. Halloween is irrelevant.

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Samahan mo ‘ko

Driving alone at night was never that lonely.

I came across two interesting blog posts while doing my routine blog-hopping today. Both of which basically brushed on the topic of masculine culture among guys.

The first one, from Bulletproof Vest, talks about how our macho culture is a function of Filipino men being generally insecure.

Filipino men are insecure. They womanize incorrigibly to prove their vitality (and their moral weakness). They are contentious, prone to display, pretentious and arrogant only to prove that they are better over another man. In short, they are posers. They will cut, duck and weave through traffic to prove that they are faster and more wily. They will buy the biggest cars, the biggest guns and hire the biggest goons.

Another one from Jaypee Online, Things Guys Do, But Won’t Admit To, talks about, well, what guys do but won’t admit to doing.

Mama went to Cagayan de Oro last Sunday, so she asked me to ‘take care’ of our grocery store in Bulacan while she’s gone. It was the first time I drove all by myself to Bulacan from our Quezon City home. Once I got past through the tollgates of North Luzon Expressway, I rolled down all the side windows, turned the radio off and sped through the highway.

With the radio turned off, I actually had time to think and relax (Yes, I find leisure driving relaxing). One of the thoughts that ran through my head while driving was, “What if I meet an accident and, God forbid, die?” Morbid, I know, but I have actually thought about it a few times before, some of those times it even lead me to tears, thinking about the people I’m going to leave. There were many scenarios that I imagined. But for the purpose of this blog, let me share with you what I thought about my blog. Yes, I actually thought about my blog while thinking of death scenarios.

What will become of my blog? How will people know that I’m not alive anymore? Will the blog remain stagnant and eventually expire (as there will be no one to renew my account)? What happens to a blog when a blogger dies all of a sudden? Will the blog remain a temporary morbid reminder of more pleasant times? Have there been such instances?

I went home early today. It feels weird going home by 1PM. For the past weeks, I always get home at past six. I wasn’t feeling well anyway, so I didn’t stay in school to spend my idle time, like I’d normally do. I wanted to just walk away, and go home. I wanted to jog in the rain this afternoon, to release some of the baggage and for more drama effect–but alas, the shower I was hoping for didn’t come. So I did not jog. Maybe some other time. I’ll just content myself with spending my time online.