Nawala lang ako.

[Photo taken more than a year ago with my old (and now dysfunctional) digicam at the shoot of Ate Dianne & Ate Ranina's Piring]

I’ve always experienced a certain level of trust from my parents, which is why it takes them relatively little convincing from me to allow me to do stuff, spend vacations with friends, attend out of town semplannings, semenders, sleep-overs, night outs, going to places by myself with very little supervision and all that. I really appreciate that trust, that my parents know I can take care of myself and that I wouldn’t put myself into dangerous circumstances.

This is an offshoot of just having watched Failure to Launch, whose advanced screening I watched with Kid a few nights ago. I’m just 18, I know. But for months, I have started entertaining thoughts of starting to live by myself. I know that is an absurd idea right now, as I still have to, and I do recognize the fact that I still rely financially on my parents. The thing is, as I’ve said, all these years since grade school, I have proven to myself and to my parents that I can take care of myself well with relatively little supervision and much trust, that is why I think allowing me to live in my own place is the next step. If you just know, it’s been one of my petty frustrations that our family lives near the university, so it is impractical for me to stay in a dormitory or a boarding house. I’ve always wanted to experience that.

What I’m thinking right now, is that, once I find a job after college, I’ll move out and try to sort things out myself. But I’m not having delusions that it will all be fine right away and that I can totally be independent. I know I’ll run back home if things don’t work out. But see, it’s a challenge I’m eager to face on.

Okay. Soon enough I will realize this was easier typed out than actually done.

I accidentally bit my lip a few days ago. So I’ve had a lip wound the past days. The thing is eating nowadays have become really painful. I can’t chew properly, I can’t enjoy my food as much as I want to. That’s not the worst part. The worst part is that kissing has become painful too! Kidding. Hehe.

I’ve fixed things up. The situation is better now. I’m back to blog. Couldn’t put almost six years of blogging to an end just like that.

I’ve also created a secret/private blog, because personal/private blog entries are still inevitable. I feel more focused now. Para hindi naman ma-apektuhan ‘tong bikoy.net whenever something of a personal crisis comes up.

I need to go on a blog hiatus. I have to fix things up. Sigh.

Yes, if there’s one thing I lament with this blog’s apparent “popularity” is that it restricts me from writing a lot of personal things. There are a lot of things I can’t say, reveal, admit, in this blog. So when things come up with my personal life that’d affect how I blog… I’d have to keep visitors like you hanging clueless.

Haay. I can’t believe myself sometimes. I’ll be back.